Whistle While You Work
by fredthebaker
Summary: A quick comedy fic about the four Hogwarts founders. Please R&R!


Hey and thanks for reading my fic!

It's a bit strange (like me), very random (like me), and full to the brim of craziness (like me).

I had the idea when I myself got the tune in my head, and typed it up almost straight away. And the rest, as they say, is history.

DISCLAIMER: i do not own Harry Potter. Duh.

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Godric Gryffindor strode around the almost-finished Hogwarts grounds. Just a few internal decorations and furnishings, and they'd be off, ready for the new school year in September. It was the perfect day for working: sunny weather, hot, but with a slight breeze. Only one thing was bothering him; he had an infuriating Muggle song in his head. What was it…? Whistle While You Work, that was it. Well, good idea. No-one could resist the temptation to ignore Salazar. So he whistled that maddening song, and got back to decorating the Gryffindor Common Room.

At 12:30pm, all four of the Hogwarts founders met by the lake to eat lunch. Godric was still whistling that exasperating song, and Helga and Rowena joined in, giggling.

"Come on, Sal, join in!" Godric joked. "You must know the tune by now!" 'Sal' muttered something incoherent under his breath.

"What's that Salazar?" Helga asked. "You can't whistle? Ha!" She laughed hysterically as Salazar Slytherin ducked his head with embarrassment.

"Look, just purse your lips like you're about to kiss Helga," Helga immediately stopped laughing as Rowena tried to explain. Salazar did as he was told and the other three all laughed.

"Then you just kinda blow, I suppose," Helga continued, not knowing how to explain any further. Sal spluttered and ended up with his tongue hanging out of his mouth lamely. They all laughed again. Salazar scowled and said: "I'm going back to finish off the dungeons," before stalking off.

"Aww, poor little Sally can't even whistle!" Godric called after him.

After they had all finished their own houses dorm rooms and common rooms, they went to put the finishing touches to the Astronomy tower. Helga, remembering the morning's fun, started singing under her breath as she levitated telescopes around the room. Soon Rowie joined in with her harmonious voice and Godric with his deep Tenor voice. After several verses, they started teasing Salazar again.

"Come on, Salazar. You _must_ know how to whistle!"

"I can't…Not possible…Don't want to anyway…" and he left the room in a sulk.

That evening, the four friends worked on the Great Hall, the most central and largest room in the whole castle. Godric and Rowena were at one end, disastrously trying to enchant the ceiling, whilst Helga and Salazar sat eating in the centre of the Hall.

"Why do you lot keep going on about my inability to whistle?" Salazar asked Helga.

"Because it's funny! We don't mean it, you know that, surely!" but Sal was unconvinced. "Look, just say O and put your tongue on the roof of your mouth. Then blow. Simple!" But Salazar still couldn't do it. He did as he was told, but as he blew, he saw it all in slow motion: The spit flying out his mouth, through the air, landing on Helga's brand new robes…Helga's brand new robes! She'd been so chuffed with them, parading them round the castle as if they were a set of Golden Gobstones, pointing out the colours, the beads, the way it sparkled in certain light.

"AAARGGH!" screamed Helga. Godric and Rowena came running when they heard her.

"What is it? Did he try to curse you?" Godric panted, pointing his wand at Salazar. "Just give the word, I'll curse him till those Muggle animals…cows…come home…"

"No…wait…"Rowie said. Helga was sat down, rubbing aggressively at her robes, trying to clean the spit off. "Did he spit on you? Eew!" Helga agreed. Both guys sighed and walked off to enchant the ceiling.

In July, the school was almost finished. They were sat in the Great Hall once again, but this time discussing what magical abilities a young witch or wizard had to display to gain a place at Hogwarts, and filling in a load of paperwork at the same time. Unfortunately, Godric and Salazar were having yet another argument.

"Stop playing _God,_ Godric! You can't decide everything around here!"

"But _everyone_ who displays magical abilities should be allowed to gain a magical education! We can't just refuse Muggle-born children!"

"We can! They have no right to learn, dirty Mudbloods!"

"Don't call them that!" yelled Helga, joining in. "There's nothing wrong with having Muggle parents!"

"Yes there is! It's dirty! It's horrible and they don't deserve a place!"

"There's only one way to solve this…"said Rowie. "Godric, give me your hat. GIVE ME IT OR DO YOU WANT _HIM_ TO HAVE HIS WAY!" she yelled over the noise. Godric took his hat off looking rather puzzled.

"SILENCE! Right, on three, I want everyone to point their wand at Godric's hat," she pointed her own wand at the hat she had placed on a nearby three-legged stool, "and say 'CEREBRO RELOCATUS!' and that will put a bit of your brain,"

"Not that there's much of yours, Sal," muttered Godric.

"In the hat and will sort all the students according to what we think are the best qualities in a student."

"So we're making a hat to sort the students into our own houses?" asked Helga.

"Yes. When we've done it will have a part of each of us in it. Ready?"

"CEREBRO RELOCATUS!" they all shouted. The hat shuddered and then burst into song:

_Today's the day when I am born,_

_I live to sing my song,_

_And sort all Hogwarts students_

_To the house where they belong;_

_In Gryffindor, the bravest find_

_Their victory is easy,_

_In Hufflepuff, hard workers think _

_That hard work is bright and breezy,_

_The purest and the worst of wizards_

_Go far in Slytherin,_

_And last not least in Ravenclaw_

_The cleverest are within._

"Not bad, not bad!" cheered Rowie. "He got it just right!" But then there was a pause and they remembered what the newly formed Sorting Hat had said: "_The purest and the worst of wizards go far in Slytherin,"_ Surely Salazar would object to having something like that put to his name?

"PURE WIZARDS ARE NOT THE WORST!" screamed Sal and he stormed off.

He wanted to do something…something to wreak havoc amongst the students when his true heir reached the school…something to get revenge against his fellow founders and their strange ideas…something to purify the school…a secret chamber. That was it; he'd insert a chamber somewhere about the school where no one was bound to find it, how about under the girls' toilets? Yes…that was good, and he could have a monster to KILL those filthy mudbloods…a basilisk. He was a Parseltongue, he could charm it in here when the others were gone and his heir would let it loose among the students…

Salazar sat alone murmuring in Parselmouth in his newly built Chamber of Secrets, murmuring to his Basilisk how he could kill as much as he liked when his true heir came to rescue the school's reputation.

"Don't worry, you can rip, you can tear, you can shred just as soon as my heir opens your chamber up." Then he noticed something: the decorations. Using very advanced magic, he had created a room big enough for a serpent. The spell he had used had decorated the Chamber of Secrets with very snaky décor. The pillars had snakes entwined around them, the back wall a humongous face with a snake for a tongue. Sal let out a long, low whistle. The he realised.

"YES! I DID IT! IN YOUR FACE, GODRIC!" but unfortunately, he had made his Chamber of Secrets so secret that no one could hear him. It was also so deep underground and secret that he could not get out.

Several hours later, as Helga, Rowie and Godric were finishing off the letters to be sent out to over 100 magical children. Helga piped up: "Where's Sal?" None of them knew, none of them ever would know, but now we know that Moaning Myrtle was not the only one to die because of the Chamber of Secrets. And we also now know that Salazar Slytherin did not Whistle While He Worked, but rather he Whistled 'Till He Died.

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Thanks fro reading!

I will send a virtual hug to all those who review. SO REVIEW!


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